How Toxic Is My Relationship?

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Often when we are in a relationship, there are certain things that don't make us feel good but we stay in the relationship. Those little things could be the beginning of a cycle of violence. Take this test and find out what kind of relationship you are in.

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When you go out to a party, he suggests you wear different kinds of clothing, saying something like: “You look great but the other skirt looks better on you”?

Yes, he does the same thing every time

Only on some occasions

Never, I wear what I want

When you argue with him, he:

Tries to understand the problem with me and we both look for a solution together

Doesn't reason with me and distances himself from me. I have to seek him out to talk

Threatens to leave me or even to harm himself

When your family or friends invite you to a place where he is not invited, how does he react?

If he can’t go, he demands me not to go

There is no problem with me going, but he calls me incessantly

He gives me my space and when I get back, he asks me how it went

If you give your opinion in a conversation, does he interrupt you, ignore you or even ridicule you? For example: "You don't know anything about these matters"

No, I feel free to say what I think

Yes, I'm afraid to say something that makes him angry

It has happened, but just sometimes

Do you get scared when he gets angry?

Yes, because he gets upset and screams

Yes, because he hits me or threatens to hit me

I have never felt fear

Is he one person with your family and friends and another with you?

Always. People that know me think he is the ideal man but with me he is violent

He is always the same person

Sometimes he is one person with me and another with my friends. This confuses me

Have you wanted to get out of the relationship because of his macho attitudes?

All the time, but I'm scared

Sometimes

No, I have never wanted to

Does he check your cell phone to see who you are talking to or what you’re going to post to your social media profiles?

Never

He has done it a couple of times

He does it all the time

Has he forced you to have sex with him?

No, but he insists on doing things that I don't want to do

We only have sex when we both want

Yes, he has, or he has forced me to do things I don't want to do

Regarding your money:

He decides what I can buy and when

I feel I have to ask him what I can spend it on

I do what I want with my money

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You are at imminent risk

Violence is a threat that can put your life at risk. Many times it manifests itself in behaviors that we can ignore or minimize. At this point in your relationship, you need urgent assistance. We encourage you to read articles in The Voice of Guanacaste in which you will find experiences of other girls who have gone through and are going through the same thing. Seek help and remember that if you are in an emergency situation, you should call 9-1-1 immediately.

Find out here where you can ask for help

Warning

They may seem like very little things, but you are facing signs of violence. Having your partner tell you how you should act or dress is a form of violence. And it can get worse and worse. In institutions like Inamu, they can give you advice. We also encourage you to read articles in The Voice of Guanacaste in which you will find experiences of other girls who have gone through and are going through the same thing. Come on, you can do it! You are in time for a change.

Find out here where you can ask for help

We don't detect any problem in your relationship

A relationship based on respect and trust is what women deserve. You have the right to be a free woman and to live without fear. If you know the case of any other girl who is in a toxic relationship and needs help, remember that in an emergency situation, you can call 9-1-1 or contact other resources such as OIJ, INAMU or the Office of Women in the municipal offices of the province.

Find out here where you can ask for help for someone else

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